To Dec. 15th annnymous,

If you are standing looking out across the lawn from the main building at the cemetery, Brian's grave site is to the far left (more across from the side parking lot) and on the right side of a row of bushes, close to the outside road. It has a white bench so it is easy to spot from the main building, and from the road. There is only one other bench in that area and that one is directly in front of the building.
I hope that helps anyone who has been trying to locate his grave site.

The other day I was sweeping the kitchen. It dawned on me that I was in the spot where Brian and I had our last conversation. The moment passed as many like it do. I did not break down but contemplated in inner silence. That "dawning" has happened before in many different ways & in many different places over these last seven years.

I can be in the room where he passed out of this life and not think about it for awhile. That is God's grace. Eventually it surfaces and of course I remember, but it is only him I focus on.

I drive by the little house off of rt 50 nestled in some trees, the Doctor's office of his first pediatrician Dr T, and I remember "little" Brian" who bundled up in his coat and scarf, was happy to be there and never too sick to build with the blocks or do a puzzle. Dr. T was Japanese. He greeted and left his patients with a bow that Brian liked to return. Later he loved bonzai plants which he may have first seen there in that office.

Near his own 30th birthday, his best friend Ismail came over for dinner and I was reminded of "older" Brian. The Brian who walked side by side with his friend since they were 5 & 6. The Brian who would have been 29 and who would have been grinning and joking and enthusiastically sharing in his friend's success and all he had to tell. And maybe a wise crack or two.

Tonight at the cemetery his best friends Ismail and Dimitri joined us. It was so great to hear them talk about their lives and it seems that Brian is & will always be a part of them. Hearing their stories and memories was heartwarming. As they spoke, a part of Brian showed up in their love for him. I think when we no longer have a loved one with us we are partial to many things they said or did and repeat them in our own speech and/or actions. Once acknowledged it brings strong images of that person. I don't know how many of my Mother's sweet southern sayings have slipped from my lips since she passed in March of this year. Gems like; "Well low and behold","Well I declare","Sugar","Honey","Darlin" "Do tell", "Like a bat out of hell", " a smidgen", "a swallow", and my favorite "You'll get your reward in Heaven". "Did I just say that!" I would muse. In fact the second line of this post includes one of her sayings and I just realized it. The point being,the image of those we love is so ingrained in us that the love we felt for them & vice versa is bound to come out in our lives, "I reckon". In Brian's friend's tonight, it showed up in the mention of a restaurant they chose to dine in recently or the grins that came over their faces as they talked.

Earlier today at an appointment, Brian's dad & I felt together, that the Doctor really reminded us of him. He was 30ish, contemplative, intelligent and quick witted, on top of physically resembling him. There are many who have reminded me of how he may have been had he lived, and the first reaction is to tell them, but I don't. Just a silent remembrance and smile, or sometimes a tear. It is bitter-sweet.

I still go to the homeless shelter, that Brian had poignantly pointed me in the direction of, to donate needed items. I will see young men who could also have resembled the way Brian could have been had he lived. Drug addiction and it's fallout,left unchecked, is a big reason for homelessness. We don't know what would have happened.

When I do get overwhelmed with the loss of Brian and tears are brimming, sometimes pouring, it seems our two dogs are right there to comfort and put their heads in my lap or just stay next to me. I realize that they did not "know" him but they seem to sense the great distress it causes me to not have him here. And that reminds me of all the things/people we will experience without him. Our lives go on and they must. But the essence of who Brian was is what shines in my heart.

He is our son. He is God's child. I pray, as the Orthodox Christians do, for the repose of his soul and for the eternal life of the ages to come. We are here but by the Grace of God and I remember that always & give thanks to Him.

We love and miss you Brian! Mom

Below is a link to "Peace on Earth" a Christmas song/video by Casting Crowns. Also a comment made about it.

"I heard on the radio that this was originally a poem by Longfellow, written during the Civil War and not long after his wife had been killed and his son grievously wounded, plus their house had burned. He wrote the poem and this newer version of the tune is most beautiful. He's almost in despair, but knows peace and good wlll to men will come. Those bells keep ringging. I never cared for the old tune especially,but this is certain to be an established favorite for years to come. Well done!"

Still thinking about great times on the trail buddy. Miss you man

not here, so have another beer.

Brian,

still have great memories of our friendship especially beach week 2000 and adventures at uva that first year. miss you, your kindness and smile. think about you always.

Went to the cemetary to feed the geese. I looked for your burial site but was not able to locate it. I wasn't able to be there on that day but will never forget the memories I had with your family. RIP Brian.

Thinking of you on this night as always.

Thinking about our youth, the energy we had. Thinking about what we would have accomplished together in our 20s, and now in our 30s.

Thinking about this night 7 years ago

Rest in peace Brian, missing you as always

For some reason, i've been thinking a lot about Brian today. So I thought I would just leave a note. Miss you buddy.

email from a friend*****

Live simply.
Love generously.
Care deeply.
Speak kindly.
Leave the rest to God!

"Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet

is fighting some kind of battle."


Missing you Brian. Keeping you close in my heart.
Love, Mom

happpy birthday <3

I'm sure Brian would have had big plans for the last year of his 20s, even though he would act like he didn't care that he was turning 30. I will have a beer for him tonight!

Happy 29th Brian! I can only wonder the amazing things we would have done together in our 20s!

It's been almost seven years we are all still here. Your sisters are doing amazingly! mom and I are workinghard, together. You would be proud of us.

Your friends still talk about you and miss you. Your sisters still look up to you and adore you. Moom and I we are here together.

We love you, from everyone

Mom and Dad

I heard a song that i have heard a million times before but never really LISTENED to it, and as cliche as the song is, it made me think of you. Crazy that its just a few days before your birthday!

I have had an overwhelming sense of my own mortality recently, and cant stop thinking of those i lost and those that will mourn me when i am gone. I think it has soemthing to do with becoming a father recently and me wanting to make sure she will always be taken care of in the event of my passing and the fact that i never did get around to kicking our Marlboro habits since high school and have a nasty cough now. I need to quit!

RIP Buddy! What i wouldnt give for one more pep talk!

How to Save a Life

Step one you say we need to talk
He walks you say sit down it's just a talk
He smiles politely back at you
You stare politely right on through
Some sort of window to your right
As he goes left and you stay right
Between the lines of fear and blame
You begin to wonder why you came

CHORUS:
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Let him know that you know best
Cause after all you do know best
Try to slip past his defense
Without granting innocence
Lay down a list of what is wrong
The things you've told him all along
And pray to God he hears you
And pray to God he hears you

CHORUS:
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

As he begins to raise his voice
You lower yours and grant him one last choice
Drive until you lose the road
Or break with the ones you've followed
He will do one of two things
He will admit to everything
Or he'll say he's just not the same
And you'll begin to wonder why you came

CHORUS:
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

I saw Brian's grave today for the first time since his funeral. I laughed out loud when I saw the pack of Marlboro Red's that somebody left. That was funny and it lightened the mood for my visit. The plaque and the bench are so nice. They are a great way to honor Brian.

The Brian Christ Scholarship for 2011-2012
Established by Jeffrey Stein
is available through Northern VA Com. College Educational Foundation
http://www.nvcc.edu/future-students/paying-for-college/financial-assistance/scholarships/index.html

Thank you Jeff!

Love and miss you Brian, Mom

I write today as a mother and a daughter. A mother remembering my son Brian as I do every day, and a daughter mourning the loss of my dear mother who passed a month ago in March. We had her burial at Arlington National Cemetery last Tuesday. The wait was hard but not as long as with my Dad's two years ago.

A line from Mama's favorite comic strip Cathy -

"They may have cut the umbilical cord but no one will ever get through the phone cord"

I still just want to pick up the phone and call her about anything and everything.
The mother/child connection is so strong. I'm feeling it in both directions now as both my child and mother have left this world.
Through prayer I rely on God to keep that connection going-

"Thou art with Christ, and Christ with me; in Christ united still are we."

******
N BETTER HANDS
By Cindy Bullens
I had a dream that I was fallin’
You came to rescue me
You must have heard me callin’
Through my fitful sleep
You know I wish I could be grateful
Instead of full of fear
The kind of love that you gave me
I can’t replace with tears
And though I’ll never feel that love again
Never again
Well, I can take some kind of comfort in
Knowing you’re in better hands
In better hands
In better hands
In better hands
I had a dream about a fire
Burnin’ out of control
There was no way for me to stop it
‘Till it burned through my soul
There were a hundred people watchin’
As the night raged on
And every one of us stood helpless
Through that bitter dawn
But oh the sky is in your shoes tonight
You can finally fly
All I can do is trust that you’re all right
And I left you in better hands
In better hands
In better hands…
And though I’ll never feel that love again
Never again
Well, I can take some kind of comfort in
Knowing you’re in better hands
In better hands
In better hands…
© 1999 Mommy’s Geetar Music/BMI
******

Missing you Brian, Say Hi to Grandma. Love, Mom

Check out my dad on Fox Business News talking about repealing federal privacy laws and sharing Brian' story (@ 8:47):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KrCL0iv1TcU

I just saw the Stossel interview. I agree, FERPA should be repealed. I lost my son, Jason, at KU due to alcohol poisoning. You can contact me at wrenvideo@gmail.com.

I would like to join your cause and help if I can.

-Jay

At Christmas one of my favorite Carols has always been Silent Night. This arrangement by Stevie Nicks is very moving to me. It's a little different than most. Losing him during this season it makes me think of Brian. It gives me peace. Rather, God gives me peace in the silence, and the song reminds me of that eternal peace & connection through Christ.

We're missing you Brian and remember you always.
Love Mom & Dad, Katelyn and Ashley

From the First Rock Baptist Church newsletter-

"Have you noticed the big bus parked in front of the church-"Brian's Bus"? Well, Brian's Bus was graciously donated to First Rock Baptist Church (FRBC) by a family who lost their son to a heroin overdose, to assist the children in the Anacostia Gracious Arts Program(AGAP) and other FRC activities. The family hoped the bus would serve as a reminder to youth not to do drugs.

The idea behind the "Brian's Bus" was birthed by the parents of Brian Christ, Tony and Lee Ann Christ. Brian died at age 22 on December 15, 2004. He had completed a heroin treatment program and completed two engineering courses at George Mason University (GMU) and was preparing to transfer back to the University of Virginia (UVA) and finish his degree. The night after taking finals he went to celebrate. He connected with a BAD GUY and had a relapse on heroin about six months after he had come off it. The relapse killed him....

He was a really nice kid who had many friends. Often he would help others with their school work.When he died he was at his computer and had just emailed a friend a school schedule for GMU that they had worked out together. It was the last think he did....

"Brian's Bus" was Tony Christ's idea. He wanted kid to see what could happen if they did drugs. He and his wife figured that if just one kid remembered Brian and what happened and, subsequently, didn't do drugs, it would be worth it. He raised money from people at work and from Brian's friends who are now 27. Dennis Crawford, a friend of the Christ family, a staff member and a Board of Director member of AGAP, recommended that Tony Christ donate the bus to FRBC to assist the kids in the AGAP as well as other FRBC ministries had plaques made which are in the back of the bus. The plaques tell the story of their son Brian's life. ...It is the Christ family's hope and prayer that "Brian's Bus" will serve the kids at FRBC well."

*****

Also from a 2005 email I received from a friend of Brian's-

"Mrs. Christ-

This is **** (again).I was recently hired by OAR- offender aide and restoration,to work with offenders and ex-offenders and restore both them and their families into society if it is a death sentence case- well alot of our clients are YOUNG heroin users who are in treatment, or just need a guiding voice. I usually show them brians website to show them what a great kid he is, and he had everything going for him,and his use was a negative aspect of his life. I was wondering if they emailed you, could you write them back? Or can I go talk about Brian to these drug rehabs...., I think it would be beneficial to them. A lot of people at these drug treatment centers are telling me heroin is on the rise again, and I want to prevent it at all costs. If you do not want them to, that is okay too, I understand it is hard. I work with a lot ofoffenders who attempt suicide, and its always trying talking to the, as the situation with my father always lingers in my head."

****

You cannot lose someone and not think about how that loss translates to other people with similar losses. At least that is what we are trying to do as well as help in the prevention of such tragedies.

I also think a lot about the people who are currently struggling with drug addiction. I remember when we went to the treatment center's family program and we were able to see Brian only in the evenings at the visiting times, as he had already been through the program with other addicts family members, and they now with us to help educate members about their struggle and "humanize" the horrible state of addiction.

One night there was a motivational speaker. Brian sat between his dad and me. I looked over at him and realized as he sat there hopefully listening to the Spirit filled, dynamic former addict, how devastating a situation he was in, how I was powerless to do anything about it and how I sensed the fear in his heart. It was agonizing and I wanted to fix it all (had to relinquish, very hard to do). But he courageously listened and kept hope in his heart as we did.

Maybe because of Brian, I have a keener awareness of other's anxieties and fears and wish to bring some hope to them even in the simplest of ways. Sometimes a smile and acknowledgement of something they are going through goes a long way. Isn't this God's plan for us to share His goodness that He has given us.

"God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble"
Psalm 46:1

We love and miss you Brian,

Love Mom and Dad

Our lives are not the same since you left us Brian. But what is the same is our love for you. As we go along without you, we carry that love and you with us in our hearts, unchanged and pure. On Mother's Day I remember all about you and I cherish those memories Love forever, Mom

I was reading an excerpt from a newsletter where a bereaved mother ended by giving her daughter's "symbols" as a butterfly, a black cat and a dark-haired angel.

I was reminded of a dream I had a few months after Brian died. At first I was alone in a dept. store, crouching down behind a register, because rising out of a water fountain across the store was a column of fire. It rose high and then arched and transfered into an object next to it, then rose again in a column and transfered back into the fountain. I was in awe of it's energy. All of a sudden I was walking with Brian, who was around 8-9 I guess, and we went through an arch into a restaurant. As we walked through he was happily chatting as he did so often, and I noticed right beside him a person, a woman, with long dark hair and a robe-like garment. I was aware of how silent she was. As we sat at the table with pedestal chairs attached to the floor, she sat at the next table adjacent to Brian. I asked him to get some napkins and when he left I became more aware of her. I looked at her and felt calm in her presence.

An interesting sequence of dream events. Who knows what if anything they mean. But I do remember wondering at the time if there were dark-haired angels.

Teresa's mother reminded me of this in her entry about her daughter who died 15 years ago. She also wrote that she felt time did not heal the grief a parent feels when they lose a child, but how we spend the time is what really does.

We will soon have some photos to post here of Brian's Bus and the latest news about where it is headed.

We miss you every day Brian and Love you always, Mom

5 years. i remember us sitting in the patio of kevin's parents' house in hoodbridge the summer of 2004 and we were having some crazy talk about the future of technology. i was spouting out ideas and you were ever the pragmatist, grounding my flights of fancy. i only knew you for a short time, but i wish you well wherever you are bro.

We will be at Brian's grave site this evening at 5:00PM if anyone wants to drop by.

I will have pictures of a Bus i am rasing money for that will be contributed in Brian's name to saint Katherine's Church.

Thinking of you today, Brian, and your family.

Love, Kate

Another day of mixed emotions, I miss ya like hell dude. My prayers are always with you and your family.

-Ry

"We have seen a significant increase in heroin trafficking in Northern Virginia,..." "First, more people addicted to prescription pain medications are switching to heroin. And second, Mexican drug suppliers are using routes long established for cocaine to also move heroin."
From The Washington Post- Oct.22 2009.

Five years have passed and what more can be said except the pain of losing Brian is with us everyday. Thank God for His mercy and grace and forgiveness in our lifes, and for the ability to also expericence joy when remembering Brian and knowing that God will remember him in His kingdom.

In the Dec. 6th posting my husband speaks of a bus being donated to a local church that would amoung other things be used to transport teens to church activities. The bus will have a plaque with Brian's picture and a few lines about his short life and the heroin addiction that brought it to an end. Hopefully it will impact those who see it and they will impact others they know and so on and so on. A small chisling away of a monumental evil that erodes the soul and has captured so many who are feeling hollow and looking for something to fill the void. When things look dismal, I sometimes think how hard it must have been for Brian, or anyone struggling, to get through a day without using drugs, when that poison is embedded in their cells. The battle can be won but not solo, not on their own power. Please pray for people in this situation to find the help they need and the strength to perservere and be victorious.

*****
Scarlet Wings (As Long As You Love)


Time has a different meaning now
Since you found your scarlet wings
Forever seems like yesterday
But only angels know these things
I can hear your voice sometimes at night
And it echoes through the day
When my soul cries out from missing you
I remember what you say

As long as you love you will see me in the stars
As you look up at the stars, I will be there
As long as you love, I will whisper in your ear
Little whispers you will hear as long as you love
As long as you love

You are standing here beside me now
As I watch the children play
To those of us you left behind
You are never far away
Even heaven cannot hold your heart
For no boundaries love allows
So little angel spread those scarlet wings
As you whisper to me now

As long as you love you will see me in the sun
In the warming of the sun I will be there
As long as you love you will understand the rain
You must bless the falling rain as long as you love

As long as you love you will see me in the stars
As you look up at the stars I will be there
As long as you love I will whisper in your ear
Little whispers you will hear as long as you love
As long as you love

by Cindy Bullens

******

We love and miss you Brian, and you're never far away. Love Mom & Dad, Katelyn & Ashley

It still feels like just yesterday when I last saw you and we had so many plans for our future.

Miss you very much. Keep watching us

Brian and his family are always, always in my thoughts and prayers. We will never forget you, Brian.

Dear Brian,
On December 15, it will be 5 years since you went to be with the Lord. We have many fond memories you Brian. We miss you very much.
With Much Love,
Uncle Steve, Aunt Ianthe, Krislyn, Jonathan

Myself, my wife and 16 people have contributed to purchase a bus in Brian's name the Bus will be donated to Saint Katherine's Orthodox for the main use of the Children of saint Katherine's it wil be called Brian's Bus. used for athletic teams transportation and or general Church needs.
If anyone wishes to contribute call me at 703-533-3077.
Also my wife and I will be at Brian's Grave, December 15 at 5:00PM if anyone wishes to join us.

Dear C.J.,
sorry it took so long to respond to your post. Best of luck in your Marathon! We were happy to donate to your worthy cause and in memory of Liz your beloved sister. I hope others will do the same.
And we thank you for remembering Brian so fondly. In our marathon Katelyn & I took Brian right along with us. So many people would pat your shoulder or give you the thumbs up when they went by (a lot of people went by me!!!)& vice versa. One lady saddled up beside me in the dark when we first started off and helped me pace for 6 miles (I was walking mostly). When I finally left her at a rest stop I caught a glimpse of the back of her shirt that had been getting a lot of attention. It said- "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."You go C.J.!!

You've got some special friends Brian. Love you always. Mom

Happy Belated Birthday Brian!

Happy Birthday B. Still Missing you

happy bday :)

Happy birthday Brian. Still thinking of you every day.

Happy Birthday!
...thinking of you often....

Happy birthday Brian.

Mrs Christ. I saw that you and Brian's sister ran a marathon in his honor recently and read the story about the father and son kicking their habits and running a marathon out in Colorado.

I am running the Richmond Marathon in less than two months, and just realized that I hadn't hunted down a charity to support through my running. After seeing your efforts you made for the AIR Foundation, I just went to Firstgiving.org and set up my donation page for CrisisLink. I recently hosted a charity concert in Arlington at the Clarendon Grill for CrisisLink, which is a crisis/trauma hot-line, and I can't believe I forgot to mention it to you and our friends on the EMCT. We raised a few thousand dollars and it was a total success for everyone involved and I felt the need to support them even more.

The fund raising page is set-up now, and you can get to it by going to www.firstgiving.org/cjcross

Again, thanks for continuing to post on here regularly, and for continuing to be amazing people with all that you have done in memory of Brian. I only hope I can honor the memories of Brian and my sister Liz in such a way.

A letter received from a bereaved mother ended like this: "Life has a way of taking us in strange directions. We continue to live the life we have instead of the one we had planned". Daily we realize Brian's physical absence from our lives. But he is not far. He lives in our hearts. There is joy in that. Sounds so cliche but it is ever so true.

"Thou art with Christ and Christ with me; in Christ united still are we."

We love you Brian. Mom & Dad, Katelyn & Ashley